‘There is nothing in this world that can hurt you as much as your own thoughts’, said the Buddha. Which is why we put such emphasis on becoming aware of any damaging or limiting thoughts in the Heal Your Life workshops. What we think and believe shapes everything from how we treat ourselves to how we live our lives…which brings me to the positive spin on that Buddha quote: ‘there is nothing in the world that can heal you as much as your thoughts’.
Be more Miranda
This has all been very front of mind for me as I listened to the audio version of comedian Miranda Hart’s book, I haven’t been entirely honest with you. It wasn’t the autobiography I was expecting, but a brilliant telling of what she calls the ‘ten treasures’ that brought her from crippling ill health, loneliness and darkness to a life of peace, meaning and freedom.
One of those treasures is, of course, thoughts. And several of Miranda’s ideas on changing the toxic soundtrack are worth sharing (but do get the book for yourselves because it’s actually full of treasure).
Find your top ten tunes
Regularly throughout the day stop and notice what you’re thinking and write down the headlines. After a week or so you’ll be able to see which thoughts are repeating – your personal playlist – which then gives you the chance to challenge and change them.
Ask yourself five questions to challenge the thoughts
Just because you have a thought in your head doesn’t mean it’s true, and it doesn’t mean you have to believe it. Miranda describes using Byron Katie’s five questions to challenge every negative thought she uncovered (it’s not good enough, I’m not attractive enough, I’ll never be well, etc). I find this is best done in a journal because the mind can be a slippery thing and writing your answers slows you down:
- can you know this thought is true?
- can you be absolutely sure this thought is true?
- who are you with the thought?
- who are you without the thought?
- what is a kinder alternative to the thought?
Use the power of eight to embed a new thought
Any softer, kinder thought is a positive affirmation which we use a lot in Heal Your Life work. And so, apparently, did Tina Turner, dealing with the effects of domestic abuse and rock bottom self esteem. She said “If a negative thought arose, I would repeat a positive one eight times in a row to counteract it. Soon, I began loving myself, imperfections and all.”
Sing along with the Supremes
This one is pure Miranda, who as fans of her TV show will know, loves to burst into song. She discovered that the very best distraction for any confidence-robbing, energy-sapping thought was to loudly sing the first line of the Supremes’ classic, Stop in the name of love. The ‘stop’ was a reminder to put up her hand to stop the thought, and ‘in the name of love’ reminding her precisely why she needed to drop the negative story. The song goes on to say that not stopping will ‘break my heart’, just as our negative thinking can break our spirit. The line ‘think it over’ is where we get to choose a kinder thought.
